Love Me, Love My Dog
by Tsuki no Tennyo
Summary: (Fluff/Crack - successor to 'A Bone to Pick' - ongoing series) Sess/Kag. — In which Kagome decides Sesshoumaru's a big puppy.
1. Love Me, Love My Dog

**Author's Note:** If you imagine Sesshoumaru as a big puppy (literally and figuratively), wondrous things will happen, and by wondrous, I mean you'll laugh yourself silly. This is me laughing at my own dumb jokes.

This also may or may not be set in the same story!verse as 'A Bone to Pick' in which Sesshoumaru's a grumpy but docile old dog in an established relationship with Kagome, his owner, er, girlfriend. I have a troubling sense of humor.

* * *

**Love Me, Love My Dog**  
_By Tsuki no Tennyo_

"You've gotten softer, more docile, l_azy_."

Sesshoumaru let a soft hum escape, barely aware of his girlfriend's complaints. He was far too comfortable resting his head on Kagome's lap while she idly scratched his ears to give full notice to her almost subtle insult. Exasperated with the lack of response, Kagome stopped scratching Sesshoumaru's ears, catching his attention immediately.

"Are you listening to me?"

"Yes," he said, frowning and not too happy that she stopped with the scratching.

"You used to have a goal, a _hobby_—granted, it was trying to kill your brother over a dumb sword—but you had a drive in life. Now all you do is lie around and sleep."

"I go to work, I make money, and I keep a roof over your head."

"Hey! I pay the food and utility bills, so don't act like this is not a 50-50 relationship."

"I did not imply that at all, but you, my dear, implied that all I do is sleep like a bum."

Kagome frowned, not pleased with how he was always making more eloquent arguments to counteract the point she was trying to make. Picking up his head, she scooted over and proceeded to let it drop on the couch without warning. He sat up groaning and scowling.

"What I'm trying to say is, _you don't do anything anymore._ I heard from your mother that after the battle with Naraku, all you did was stare off cliffs."

Sesshoumaru scowled again. "You're talking with my mother?"

"We have lunch every Thursday to discuss your troubling lack of social skills."

Sesshoumaru continued to scowl.

"Ugh, sometimes you can be such a—such a…"

"A…?"

"Spoiled puppy."

**.**

"Don't burn, don't burn, don't burn," Kagome pleaded as she stirred the chocolate bars she was melting over a double boiler. She smiled in satisfaction at the sight of dark, silky chocolate drizzling off her rubber spatula. "Perfect."

She let the bowl of melted chocolate cool slightly on the counter while she rummaged through her cupboards to retrieve other items necessary for making the perfect fudge brownies. She had managed to retrieve everything needed except for the baking pan she left on the highest shelf.

"Shoot," she whined, not wanting to grab a stool.

As if he sensed her frustration, Sesshoumaru appeared in the kitchen and lifted her up on his shoulders, barely noticing her surprised squeak. She smiled in satisfaction and gratitude once she retrieved the pan.

"What are you making?" Sesshoumaru asked while carefully lowering Kagome down.

"Brownies," she chirped while grabbing the cooking spray.

He dipped a finger into the slightly cooled chocolate, tasting the bittersweet liquid.

"You do realize dogs aren't supposed to have chocolate, right?" Kagome couldn't help but grin, once again pleased with another jab at his bloodline.

"And you realize I'm still a full-blooded demon, right?"

"Who happens to be a dog."

"Who is also powerful enough to have regrown an arm."

"Ah. Right. Fine, you can have some chocolate, but if you get sick, don't expect me to take care of you, Mr. Mighty Powerful Full-Blooded Demon with a New Arm."

"Hmph."

"Aw, pouty puppy. …Alright, stop glaring at me."

**.**

Kagome sat crisscrossed in bed while telling Sesshoumaru about her day. He acted like he wasn't paying attention, but Kagome knew he enjoyed listening to her idle chatters. She started to tell him about how her mother called earlier to invite them to dinner next weekend when she noticed him lifting his shirt up a bit, making her catch sight of his lower abdomen. She didn't even notice she had stopped talking until Sesshoumaru spoke up.

"Your mother invited us to dinner?"

She snapped out of her daze. "Oh, um, yeah," she murmured, almost salivating at the sight of her lover's perfectly sculpted abdomen. "Next Saturday at six. She wants us to come by early and chat a bit before dinner. Just a heads up, but Grandpa might try to exorcise you…again."

He sighed to himself before taking his shirt off completely. He proceeded to walk to the en suite bathroom, barely aware of Kagome's pout.

As she waited for him to return, Kagome couldn't help but ponder whether he enjoyed belly rubs. She smiled mischievously to herself, reasoning that she needed to test out her theory that if he enjoyed ear scratches, then belly rubs were probably another secret love of his.

About seven minutes later, Sesshoumaru returned—still shirtless, Kagome noticed enthusiastically—and getting ready to climb into bed. He sat on the edge of the bed adjusting the alarm on his phone when Kagome snuck up behind him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Sesshoumaru?" She started all innocent and hiding her true motive.

"Yes?" He had finished setting up his alarm when he noticed several text messages from business associates, Inuyasha, and one from his mother complaining about how he never voluntarily visit her without a personal agenda.

"Sesshoumaru," she said again while casually scratching one of his ears.

"Yes?" he repeated, almost purring.

"Do you enjoy belly rubs?"

"What?" He turned his head to stare at Kagome and noticed just how serious she was. He scowled, realizing this was another one of her harebrained ideas.

"It's important, so answer truthfully."

"_No_," he barked at her. "Get off me, I'm going to bed."

"Aw, who's a grumpy puppy?"

"Stop that!"

"What? You like ear scratches, so…" Her voice trailed off as her hand found its way under the cover to travel up and down his abdomen. She was grinning from ear to ear as she tested her theory.

Sesshoumaru started to protest, but he closed his eyes, initially to tune her out but then he began groaning softly, clearly enjoying the feeling of his lover's soft hand on his body.

She decided to add ear scratches to her list of task, and noticed with delight how calm and compliant he was. "You know, you're much more attractive now that you're not trying to kill me, or you know…Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru's eyes opened, and he glared at her again before snapping, "I thought I told you to never mention that name in the bedroom."

"Be nice, my mother also invited him to dinner, too."

"_What?_" Sesshoumaru sat up immediately and gave her a glare that practically dared her to repeat that comment to him again.

With the knowledge that he enjoyed ear scratches, belly rubs, among other things, Kagome thought nothing of his heated glares. She repeated her earlier comment with ease, adding, "She likes Inuyasha. So does Souta. Grandpa may try to exorcise him too. Anyway, be nice, or I'm telling Inuyasha all your dirty little secrets."

Sesshoumaru gave her another glare before he lay down, turning his back to her while pulling most of the cover closer to him.

"Grumpy puppy."

"Stop that."

"Make me," she said, giving his ear another stroke before kissing his cheek. She squealed with delight when he turned around and held her underneath him.

"Who's been a bad girl?"

Kagome gave him a half-hearted glare, but then giggled, "Kagome has been a bad girl." He started to give her an impish grin, but was immediately rebuffed by her when she shoved him off of her. "Down, boy. I'm mad at you for being mean to Inuyasha."

He groaned while giving her another dirty look for mentioning that name to him again. "Must you use his name?"

"Well, how else should I refer him?"

"The mutt."

She gaped. "I will _not_ call him that!"

"I don't ask you for much, but the one thing I've asked is for you to never mention his name in our bedroom."

"Well, what? Every time I need to talk about him, I'm supposed to drag you out into the middle of the hallway to have a conversation about—well, you-know-who?"

Sesshoumaru stared at her, not blinking. Finally, he gave her a response that even she was unprepared for, "Yes."

Kagome shook her head disapprovingly, and then she hissed, "_No belly rubs._"

Sesshoumaru smirked, not particularly caring about her threat.

"And no _ear scratches._"

He frowned.

**.**

"I made you a treat," Kagome said, presenting him with a tray of bone-shaped sugar cookies.

"Is this a joke?" Sesshoumaru asked, not particularly pleased with her sense of humor, but also wanting one of the cookies.

"Who's a good boy?"

Sesshoumaru glared.

"Say it, or I'm giving them all to Inuyasha."

He remained quiet, determined not to give in to her childish teasing, but the delectable sweet scent of sugar and vanilla wafting in his direction was just too tempting to ignore.

"I'm a good boy," he said in a low, almost sulking tone. He continued to glower in the middle of the kitchen even after Kagome stuck a cookie in his mouth and proceeded to put the rest away. As he stood there with the cookie half-dangling out of his mouth, he contemplated about all of the years that somehow led to him being so compliant and less prone to slashing people's throats at the slightest annoyance. He wanted to blame Inuyasha. He was sure Inuyasha was at fault _somehow_. It was definitely Inuyasha's fault.

Sesshoumaru was too absorbed with his own self-loathing and silently blaming Inuyasha that he failed to notice Kagome was giggling at his odd oblivious behavior. He blinked in surprise when she whirled around, stood on her tiptoes, and bit off the opposite end of the cookie that was still sticking out of his mouth. She grinned, slowly earning the same response from him.

He decided he was fine with Kagome's puppy treatment.

So long as Inuyasha never found out about it.


	2. Beware of Dog

**Author's Note:** Somehow I started an "AU where Sess/Kag are in an established relationship where half the time Kagome treats Sesshoumaru like a dog, and deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down his cold, dumb heart, he secretly likes it while on the surface, he's just a grumpy old puppy." It's becoming a series, and no one stopped me.

Anyway, here's a dumb idea that's been in my head for a while. I'm not too sure I'm happy with how it was executed, but it's probably as good as it's going to get.

* * *

**Beware of Dog**  
_By Tsuki no Tennyo_

"Did you hear that?"

Kagome shot up in bed, gripping the bed cover closer to her body as she strained to hear the noise that rudely stirred her out of her slumber. She trembled for a moment before her expression changed to one of annoyance at seeing her lover still asleep with his back to her. Kagome leaned over to shake Sesshoumaru's shoulder, gently at first, but then growing in vigor when she heard the floor creaking in the living room.

"Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru, please wake up!"

Sesshoumaru cracked one eye open, not pleased with being awoken in the middle of the night. He sat up, leaning against the headboard. Even in the dark, he could see the fear and worry in Kagome's eyes. He raised his head to the side, picking up an unfamiliar scent.

"We have an intruder."

Kagome immediately wrapped her arms around Sesshoumaru's.

"Would you like me to go check?"

She nodded, burying her face into his arm. Sesshoumaru stared down at her, waiting.

"…Would you like to come with me as well?" Sesshoumaru watched as Kagome hesitantly released herself from him before he stepped out of bed. He looked back briefly to see his girlfriend hiding under the cover. Sighing to himself, he headed in the direction of the intruder.

**.**

It had been several minutes since Sesshoumaru had left, and the worry Kagome had been feeling intensified. She knew she didn't have to worry about him, since he was perfectly capable of dealing with something as small as a home invasion, but that still didn't stop her from worrying about his and her safety. She peeked out from under the cover to see if Sesshoumaru had returned. Not seeing anything, she timidly crept out of bed and tried to move as quietly as she could down the hallways.

She was about to search the living room when she heard a sound in the kitchen. She hurried over to see the commotion, but the sight was far from what she had imagined. Scowling, she placed her hands on her hips.

"You need to stop semi-transforming," Kagome chastised while standing over the fainted body of the invader.

Sesshoumaru stood on the opposite side. His red eyes, facial markings, and sharp teeth were slowly disappearing as he transformed back to his human disguise. He frowned, not expecting her anger to be directed at him.

"I dealt with the problem."

"By changing into a—" Kagome glanced down to the body at her feet briefly before whispering harshly, "_demon?_"

"You didn't specify how I should deal with the matter."

"It was assumed! I assumed you would have the common sense not to do something like that!" Kagome shook her head, exasperated and wondering how her life came to the point where she would have an absurd argument like this in the middle of the night. She looked up again, still frowning. "And what are we supposed to do with him?"

Sesshoumaru shrugged. "Dump him in the street."

"What if he starts talking?"

"About breaking into someone's home?"

"People won't care about that! They'll hear about demons and—"

"And conclude that it's the raving of a lunatic or drunk."

Kagome fidgeted in her spot. Giving up, she backed away, fully intending to leave Sesshoumaru to tidy up the mess that had happened. "Fine, do what you have to do."

Sesshoumaru stepped over the body, and gave Kagome a gentle kiss to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. He frowned when she walked away, leaving him with just one warning:

"But later in the morning, we are buying a 'Beware of Dog' sign."


	3. Dog Training

**Author's Note:** Mmm, not sure this is one of my faves, but it's a long overdue update for this series. I promise the next one will be much funnier and hopefully the update will happen a lot sooner once I work out the ending for the next part.

* * *

**Dog Training**  
_By Tsuki no Tennyo_

"And what are you not supposed to do?"

"Transform into a demon."

"Unless…?"

"Unless a catastrophic attack happens like an old possessed artifact is released into the world."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Goddammit, Sesshoumaru," Kagome growled, about ready to smack him for his feigned ignorance. After all of their time together, Kagome learned Sesshoumaru had developed an odd trait of feigning a peculiar combination of smugness and confusion, which she was now also convinced was created entirely to mess around with her.

"Vulgarity is not attractive, my dear. You've spent too much time with that half-breed."

"Don't you dare try to use Inuyasha to distract me from the fact that you got into a fight with Kouga _again_."

"The wolf was being a nuisance. I simply rectified the situation."

"You transformed into a giant dog."

"The situation was contained."

"There is a giant hole in my mother's kitchen."

"The wolf said he would pay for it."

"_Sesshoumaru._"

Seeing Kagome about ready to pull her hair out in frustration, Sesshoumaru smirked to himself, which didn't go unnoticed to her. She inched closer, hands twitching. He could see a faint glow of her spiritual power radiating around her hands. She knew it wouldn't harm him at all and would only be a minor irritation, but it was the threat that counted.

"_And?_"

"And jealousy is not attractive."

"Good boy."

Kagome heaved a sigh and placed a tired kiss on Sesshoumaru's cheek. Dumb jealous dogs taking years off of her life. She wondered if her life would be much simpler if she just dated a human man instead.

"Inuyasha was the one that wanted to castrate him anyway."

Kagome groaned and disappeared to their bedroom, muttering all the while about needing a long nap away from the canines in her life.


	4. Top Dog

**Author's Note:** I just wanted an excuse to write Inuyasha in here.

This might have deviated away from whatever vague idea I had originally.

* * *

**Top Dog**  
_By Tsuki no Tennyo_

It was a bright sunny Saturday morning, and Kagome found herself cooped up in her home doing chores. That was the price she paid for spending Friday night out as a date night with Sesshoumaru instead of taking care of her tasks at home. It was nearly noon and she had managed to finish the laundry and vacuumed the apartment. All that was left were the pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen and some other minor miscellaneous errands she needed to do.

_How did it even get piled up?_, Kagome had to wonder as she turned on the faucet and prepared to begin washing the dishes. She started humming to make the tedious task a little more bearable. The humming helped and she was soon swaying from side-to-side as she started to sing louder and louder and—

"_Goddammit!_"

Kagome winced from the sudden noise and ended up dropping a plate in surprise. She stared in horror at seeing the countless broken shards littered the bottom of the sink. Kagome cringed again when she heard the sound of something crashing outside her apartment. On closer listening, she realized she recognized the voice.

"Son of a bitch, it's me, you dick!" Kagome heard Inuyasha screaming.

"I know," Sesshoumaru responded coolly.

Following Sesshoumaru's voice, there was a loud whoosh and what seemed to be the sound of a whip making contact with skin.

_That's not what I think it is—no, they can't be that stupid._

She sighed to herself, not in a particularly good mood to break up another brotherly fight. She turned her attention to her new task of carefully removing the broken shards in her sink. The persistent yelling threatened to disrupt her focus, but Kagome just kept repeating to herself that whatever was going on between the two brothers was none of her business.

She flinched when she heard the sound of a pot shattering against her apartment door. She counted to ten, intending to calm herself down, but then the sound of another pot hitting the door was the last straw for her.

She immediately stomped out of the apartment, briefly ducking when another pot flew past her and landed in her previously spotless living room, creating a whole new mess for her to clean.

"_Sit, boy!_"

A colorful string of profanity instantly left Inuyasha's mouth as he tried to pry himself out of the ground. "500 years! _500 goddamned years_ she made me wear this fucking necklace!"

"It suits you," Sesshoumaru remarked, earning another earful of curses from Inuyasha. He winced when he felt Kagome smacked the back of his head with a rolled up newspaper before yanking him by the ear back into their apartment.

"You need to stop trying to kill your brother!"

"Half-brother. And it's just a little sibling rough-and-tumble."

"19 pots. You both have destroyed 19 pots of plants in the past two months." Kagome placed her hands on her hip, a sight that had been becoming far too common during his time with her. She pointed a threatening finger at him. "How am I supposed to explain _that_ to my grandfather the next time he visits and asks where are the plants he gave us?"

"Tell him the mutt destroyed them. He's destroyed your grandfather's bonsais on a regular basis. This should come as no surprise."

Kagome continued to glare at Sesshoumaru, not at all appeased by his reasoning. She poked him in the chest, her head held up high as she glared straight into his slightly stiffened face. "I've told you to stop calling him that! And no, I don't think Grandpa will fall for that line for the fifth time in a row."

Sesshoumaru lowered his gaze down to focus on the finger on his chest. He had to wonder to himself why he allowed her such freedom. He turned his attention back to Kagome when she resumed ranting, "And what on _earth_ could you two be fighting about _this time?_"

"What makes you think there is a reason behind our fights? This is just a friendly spar between two half-brothers."

"Bullshit."

Sesshoumaru blinked in surprise, not expecting her curt, tactless response. For once, he was at a loss for word. He started to open his mouth, but Kagome immediately interrupted, repeating her earlier response:

"Bullshit." She started ticking off her fingers, "Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit—"

"Are you done, darling?"

"_Bullshit!_" She stomped her foot and pointed at all of the recently destroyed pots. "This is not a friendly spar! You idiots have fought over that dumb sword, you've fought because of your stupid egos, you've fought over who gets the last _onigiri_ the last time we all went out cherry blossom viewing. The reasons just seem to get stupider as you two morons get older!"

"Are you done?"

Kagome was breathing heavily as she recalled every single one of Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's fights that she had witnessed. She glared at him, not at all concerned by the faint hint of annoyance in his voice. She growled softly, "Kyoto 1871."

Sesshoumaru stiffened. "How do you—"

"Your mother told me."

Sesshoumaru scowled to himself, making a mental note to have a talk with his dearly beloved mother about her overly friendly meetings with Kagome. He snapped out of this thought when Kagome resumed speaking.

"I will _not_ allow a repeat of Kyoto 1871, do you hear me, Sesshoumaru?"

Sesshoumaru started to open his mouth to protest, but shut it when Kagome pointed a stern finger outside.

"Let's go! I am going to get to the bottom of this idiotic fight of yours."

"But my dear—"

"Don't you 'but my dear' me, Sesshoumaru! Let's go!"

Sesshoumaru didn't even bother resisting when Kagome grabbed his wrist and proceeded to pull him outside to meet Inuyasha, who was just now making it out of his hole.

"_What?_" Inuyasha glared at both of them as he straightened up, dusting the dirt off of himself.

"She knows about Kyoto 1871."

Inuyasha immediately paled. "H-how—"

"My mother."

"Fuck, Sesshoumaru, I told you that old bag was going to be a pain in our asses one day!"

"I have never doubted that once, little brother."

Kagome stood between the two, arms crossed as she glared at one brother and then the other with heated intensity. She spoke up, causing both demons to glance down at the human woman between them. "Dumb dogs getting into all sorts of trouble."

Inuyasha immediately protested, "This is not like Kyoto 1871, Kagome! Besides, it was Sesshoumaru's fault for getting drunk that time and—"

"I do not get drunk."

"Right, you just get less classy, is that so?"

Sesshoumaru sent a low threatening growl to his half-brother, whose only mature response was pulling down one eyelid and sticking out his tongue.

Kagome continued to fume as the two bickered before finally snapping.

"_Sit!_ And—" She turned to Sesshoumaru and smacked him in the back of the head again, ignoring the dirty looks he immediately sent her way. "What I would give for another Beads of Subjugation…"

"This is not like that time, Kagome!" Inuyasha continued to protest as he tried to stand up again on wobbling legs.

"Then what on _earth_ could you two idiots be fighting about this time?"

The brothers remained silent, hesitant of giving the origin of their fight to her. Kagome opened her mouth, and Inuyasha immediately panicked, seeing the word "sit" was forming. He instantly covered her mouth, and dragged her back into the apartment with Sesshoumaru following behind.

Kagome struggled all the way until Inuyasha placed her on the couch and removed his hand. She glared at him, ready to say that cursed word again.

"Wait! I can explain! It's nothing really. It's not even that bad once you think about it."

"_What?_"

"Um, Sesshoumaru, go ahead, tell your girl what that was about."

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to glare at Inuyasha. "Imbecile."

"_Well?_"

"So, my dear," Sesshoumaru started, trying to appease to his beloved with his calmness, "do you remember our father's tendency to hide heirlooms across the country and—"

"Do _not_ tell me some spirit got released and is wreaking havoc and—"

"No, no, no, no," Inuyasha interrupted. "Nothing that drastic. It's just—Toutousai seems to have located some sort of artifact in this area and we were just testing to see who was more des—Kagome?"

"Dear, where are you going?"

"Home to my mother. When I do decide to return, this place better be spotless. And you can _both_ finish the rest of my chores and errands while I'm gone."

She slammed the door, hoping the loud noise was enough to irritate their sensitive ears. Giving a nod of approval to herself, she immediately made her trek to her childhood home, leaving the two brothers to deal with her previous chores and errands.

Sesshoumaru took a glance at the mess from earlier in his home and then glared at Inuyasha.

Inuyasha already proceeded to grab a broom and dustpan while shrugging off Sesshoumaru's glare. "You started it this time, you egomaniac. At least she didn't find out about Hokkaido 1979."

"Don't be too sure. She might be holding it as secret ammo."

"…_Fuck_, your mother is going to be the death of us."


	5. Son of a Bitch

**Author's Note:** If you don't love Sesshoumaru's mother, then I can't talk to you.

* * *

**Son of a Bitch**  
_by Tsuki no Tennyo_

"He was always a spoiled puppy, my dear."

Kagome nodded in understanding as she watched the female demon seated across from her lifted her cup of tea with her perfectly manicured hands. Before she could respond, a waiter at the café passed by the two of them, stopping to ask how everything was. Both women smiled in gratitude before the waiter retreated back to the kitchen.

Kagome crossed her leg and held her own cup in her hand as she stared at the beverage inside, and then she sighed in frustration. "It still doesn't excuse him from perpetually acting this way!"

Sesshoumaru's mother nodded her head in agreement, causing strands of her straightened white hair to slip out of the low ponytail she had. She brushed them aside. "This is his father's fault. As much as I loved the man, he was not always the disciplinarian with Sesshoumaru as he should have been. He had to wait until he died to give our son a lesson in compassion and strength—"

Both women looked to the chair to their sides when they heard someone clearing their throat loudly.

"Are you both going to insist on ignoring my presence?"

"Sesshoumaru, shush, dear, we are speaking right now," his mother scolded him, earning a look of slight undignified bewilderment from her son. She turned her attention back to Kagome, somewhat annoyed. "Honestly, I don't know why you allowed him to come with you, Kagome. This was supposed to be our girls' time!"

Kagome shrugged in defeat. "I know, I know, Mother, but he was being well…such a puppy."

"I was not."

"You see? There he goes again." Kagome held up a plate of assorted cookies and offered them to her guest, who took a shortbread cookie with delight. She swiftly set the plate down when Sesshoumaru made a move to grab the thumbprint cookie with raspberry jam in the middle. She shifted in her seat, turning just so his glare was not in her field of vision.

"You would think after over a thousand years he would have grown out of this childish phase."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Men. No matter how old they get, they're still babies and expect you to mother them constantly."

His mother laughed. "Exactly! The curse of being a woman, my dear."

"I do not expect you to 'baby' me," Sesshoumaru responded to Kagome's callous comment with indignant. He grew more annoyed when she scoffed at him. He became even more sour when his mother waved him aside, choosing to ignore his existence.

"Word of advice, Kagome darling: don't have sons."

Kagome instantly blushed at the suggestion while Sesshoumaru slammed his hands on the table, standing up to voice his outrage.

"Alright, Mother, that is enough!"

His mother took a bite of her cookie, not even looking up to react to her son's outburst. "Sit down, Sesshoumaru, you are causing a disturbance in the café."

He stared at her, mouth slightly agape. Kagome slapped her forehead, even more embarrassed by Sesshoumaru's behavior than his mother's earlier advice. She quickly pulled him down by the sleeve of his shirt, glaring all the while.

"Why did you insist on coming if you knew you would have a terrible time?"

"I do not trust the two of you alone together."

"Why not? What do you think we're doing here, conspiring against you?"

"Yes," Sesshoumaru answered, not blinking when Kagome became even more irate.

"We are just bonding! You do want your mother and girlfriend getting along, right?"

"I do not want her bonding with anyone," Sesshoumaru said, gesturing to his mother who had stopped listening to the young couple in favor of exchanging flirtatious smiles with a white-haired businessman seated a couple tables away. He grimaced when the gentleman walked by, slipping not so discreetly a business card next to his mother's plate, who proceeded to smile coquettishly while tucking it into her bra.

His mother blinked in surprised when she caught her son's look of disgust, and then she smiled assuredly. "Do not worry, Sesshoumaru, your father will always be the love of my life, but a woman has her needs."

"Stop," Sesshoumaru interrupted before his mother could paint an even worse picture in his head. He placed his forehead into the palm of his hand, suddenly afflicted with the biggest migraine in centuries. At that moment, he regretted not accepting the flask of vodka Inuyasha had offered earlier in the morning when he revealed to his half-brother about meeting Kagome and his mother for their weekly afternoon tea.

She shrugged in response, unfazed by her son's lack of manner. She turned her attention back to Kagome, "As I was saying earlier, sons are no good. They do not visit you—unless they have an agenda—they do not send letters, they are always causing trouble on a catastrophic level, and they are just like their father."

"Well, in fairness to Sesshoumaru, he's a loyal dog—I mean, boyfriend."

"You did that on purpose."

Kagome grinned cheekily, causing his mother to laugh. "Did I? I'm sorry, dear."

"You're right, Sesshoumaru does have that. Frighteningly so, as a matter of fact. For the past few centuries, I was worried he and that imp demon was an item."

Kagome instantly keeled over, too tickled by the idea of Sesshoumaru and Jaken together. She wiped the tears from her eyes, ignoring the dirty looks Sesshoumaru continued to send towards the two women. "I believe Jaken had hoped for that to happen." She continued quickly before Sesshoumaru could respond, "I know! We should invite Jaken next time."

His mother clapped her hands together in delight. "Oh, it has been a while since I've seen that little demon."

"You will do no such thing."

"And make sure you do not bring him along," his mother added, gesturing with her thumb to her sour son. Kagome immediately nodded in agreement. Intending to cheer him up, Kagome leaned over and gave Sesshoumaru a light hug, which in no way appeased his anger.

"Oh, relax. We are only kidding around. Don't be such a puppy."

"I thought we had laid to rest that expression!"

"Did we?" Kagome reached for the last thumbprint cookie Sesshoumaru had his eyes on earlier, taking a bite as she tossed a curious look to him, unperturbed by the subtle twitch in his eye. "Doesn't sound like something I would agree to."

"Oh, hush up, Sesshoumaru and leave the dear girl alone. She is the best thing to happen to you since Tenseiga."

"Yeah, listen to your wise mother, Sesshoumaru!"

"Kagome…"

"Do I need to tell her about Shanghai 1872?"

"Shanghai? Why the hell have you never told me you left Japan? What did you do—eep!"

Kagome nearly fell to the floor when Sesshoumaru suddenly grabbed her by her wrist, ready to drag her as fast as he could out of the café before his mother could get another word in. Fortunately for him, his mother's short attention span got the better of her before she could reveal too much of his past.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kagome, but I must leave now with a friend."

"Oh?" Kagome asked from her position on the floor, still frazzled by Sesshoumaru's earlier behavior change. As she shakily stood up, her expression quickly changed as she grinned knowingly when the businessman from before walked by and offered an arm to Sesshoumaru's mother. "Oh…"

She watched the female demon leave with the human man, laughing flirtatiously at whatever sweet nothings he was whispering in her ear.

Kagome glanced over to Sesshoumaru, watching as he settled back into his seat, more disturbed by his mother's behavior than he would ever care to admit aloud. She, on the other hand, continued to grin widely as she watched the powerful demon before her dumbly reached for a cookie, quite possibly trying to will the last hour away from his memories.

She sat back down in her seat and reached for his free hand, finally catching his attention, though his mood remained on the damped side when he caught sight of her mischievous grin.

"What?"

"Do you want me to say it?"

"No," he sighed, realizing she had another canine joke on her mind. He had an inkling what it might be, but he was too drained from the afternoon to tolerate her puzzling amusement in his bloodline. "I really do not, Kagome."

"You're too docile now," Kagome responded, stealing the cookie Sesshoumaru was eating and foregoing the clever jab she had in her mind. She bit into it, waving off his perpetual look of annoyance. She kept her eyes on him, watching as he now drank slowly from his teacup, still mildly disturbed from the afternoon it seemed. "So what did happen in Shanghai 1872?"

Sesshoumaru choked.


	6. Lost Dog

**Author's Note:** Eh, just something short that seemed funny while I was brushing my teeth one day. Next story is probably my favorite since 'A Bone to Pick'—and it's quite long, too, so keep an eye out for that!

* * *

**Lost Dog**  
_by Tsuki no Tennyo_

"Can't we just ask for directions? That old lady back there seemed nice."

"_No!_"

"Did—did you just barked at me?"

Sesshoumaru stopped walking abruptly, causing Kagome to collide straight into his back. He ignored her pained, annoyed cry, choosing to put on a thoughtful expression as he tried to figure out just where the hell they were on this goddamned mountain.

He was not lost. He was the Great Sesshoumaru, wielder of Tenseiga, the sword able to save one hundred souls, and Bakusaiga, the sword able to destroy everything that touches his victim. He fearlessly entered and left the Underworld. He aided in defeating Naraku. He _grew_ his own arm back.

He was not lost.

The lands had changed from what it used to be five hundred years ago. Though they were far from civilization, he still smelled a distinct difference from what he remembered. He had tried explaining this to Kagome, but was only met with a disbelieving glance and a soft scoff.

"Tell me the truth. Did you used to just walk around Japan randomly until you stumble upon Inuyasha or someone familiar?"

Sesshoumaru shot her a glare.

"Or were you just following your nose?"

"I am growing less and less fond of you by the minute, darling."

Kagome waved his wry response aside, choosing to skip a few steps forward, and ignoring the continuous dirty looks directed her way. She took a glance around, meeting trees after trees, all looking more and more identical the longer she stared at them. She frowned before bemoaning loudly, "Honestly, I don't know why you thought a hike would be relaxing! Didn't you do enough walking for a lifetime before the invention of cars?"

"It was relaxing until you decided that we were lost."

"Well, do you happen to know where we are then?"

Sesshoumaru remained quiet, though the nagging knowledge that the longer he remained silent, the further he was proving her point hung heavily in his mind. Quite honestly, the last thing he needed in that moment was for her to be right.

"_Men_," Kagome griped, "What do you all have against asking for directions?"

"For the last time, we are not lost!"

"Didn't we pass that tree fifteen minutes ago?"

Sesshoumaru reminded himself that he happened to like this particular human woman, no matter how imprudent, grating, and shrill she may be during this rather vexing moment.

"Can we ask for directions _now?_"

Sesshoumaru wondered if there was any way to affectionately throw his beloved off the nearest cliff. After giving it some serious consideration, he opted to lovingly throw her over his shoulder, in spite of her immediate protests, as he tried to backtrack to the old lady at the rest stop.

He was not lost. He was just being sensible.


	7. Guard Dog

**Author's Note:** I bring you fluff, with a dash of crack for good measure. 5 times Sesshoumaru was protective of Kagome + 1 time Kagome was protective of him.

* * *

**Guard Dog**  
_by Tsuki no Tennyo_

**one.**

Sesshoumaru sighed.

To be precise, this was the eleventh sigh he had given within the past twenty minutes, and it wasn't even noon yet. He also glared, but given his nature, this wasn't quite anything new. Absently, he wondered whether or not he should work on variations of his glare. A glare for annoyance. One for exasperation. One for Inuyasha. And one for this asshole who continued to pester his Kagome while she was browsing a section in the bookstore.

And also one for her for being so very, very naïve in spite of already being in her mid-twenties. Really, he had to wonder how she carried on so pleasantly and obliviously for over two decades without any trouble.

He paused, remembering faintly the Shikon no Tama, Naraku, that reincarnation thing, and him trying to kill her a handful of times for Tessaiga. He felt a twinge of guilt after his ranting thought somehow backed him into a corner to face his own hand in making her life more difficult than it needed to be.

_Curses!_, he thought sourly while wondering when did guilt became an emotion he had to deal with increasing regularity. He made a mental note that when he went to the afterlife, he would physically thank his father for his hand in developing him into a slightly more compassionate being. Perhaps introducing Tenseiga's hilt into his father's abdomen would be a grand gracious gesture.

Pleased with his secured plan for the afterlife, Sesshoumaru temporarily forgotten about his earlier vexation until he heard the source of his annoyance resumed hitting on Kagome:

"Do you like hot springs, Kagome? My aunt and uncle own this lovely inn up in the mountains. I could take you there sometimes."

Sesshoumaru felt his blood boiled at the suggestion.

"Only if my boyfriend could tag along."

His anger subsided, feeling instantly soothed by her words, even if it did sounded a bit offhandedly to his ears.

"Yeah, well, why don't you just ditch him? You and I could have a lot of fun together—"

"He wouldn't like that," Kagome responded nonchalantly, grabbing a book off the shelves and flipping through the pages with minimal interest.

"Who cares what he thinks?"

"Oh," Kagome continued thoughtfully, not taking her eyes away from the pages. She pointed in Sesshoumaru's direction. "Why don't you go tell him that?"

"Who—"

Sesshoumaru's frown eased into a fairly sinister grin. He cracked his knuckles, feeling immensely satisfied when the nuisance instantly paled at the sight, and even more so when he heard Kagome's hushed warning into the guy's ear:

"There are more muscles under that shirt. He's also a master swordsman."

She closed the book, placing it carefully back on the shelf before walking away to Sesshoumaru's side, not even noticing when the guy who was hitting on her fell to his knees, shaking uncontrollably. Kagome gave Sesshoumaru a cheeky grin before she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek.

"You heard?"

"Did you do that on purpose?" Sesshoumaru raised a brow, noting Kagome seemed far more chipper than she usually was.

"Do what?" she asked innocently.

Sesshoumaru gave her a dubious glance before she proceeded to drag him away to the next section in the bookstore.

He sighed for the twelfth time that day.

**.**

**two.**

Sesshoumaru hated the subway. He hated how loud and smelly it was. He hated the crowd. He hated a particular crowd. He hated a particular crowd with a wandering hand. He hated a particular crowd with a wandering hand for innocent girls' with very short skirts.

Without a word, he wrapped his arm around Kagome's waist, lifting her up enough to set her over to his other side, sandwiching her between an elderly lady seated by the window and him standing against the pole. He tightened his hold around her protectively.

She looked up at him questionably, but Sesshoumaru kept his eyes focused ahead while his other hand discreetly reached for the offending man's wayward hand, and he crushed it, smiling subtly in satisfaction when the man instantly dropped to the floor, crying in pain and wailing that his hand was broken.

"We are walking next time," Sesshoumaru stated after a moment to Kagome, not paying heed when a crowd surrounded the injured pervert on the floor.

Kagome simply shrugged and readjusted her skirt.

In the back of his mind, he groaned loudly at her ignorance.

**.**

**three.**

"I will be home in three days, so make sure to always lock the door."

"I know."

"Do not just open the door to anyone, especially the wolf."

"I know."

"If anything is wrong, just call me."

"I know!"

"If you cannot reach me—and have no other choice—then call Inuyasha. Or that fox demon child. Never the wolf."

"God, Sesshoumaru, if you don't leave now, I swear to god, I will melt Bakusaiga and turn it into a very fancy vase!"

"…Lock the door."

**.**

**four.**

"So my friends want to arrange a ski trip to Hokkaido, just the four of us."

Sesshoumaru looked up from his cellphone, eyes settling on Kagome as soon as she stepped out of their bathroom clad in only a towel while she absently tried to detangle her wet hair. His eyes instantly wandered lower until they landed on her scraped knees that she acquired three days ago when she attempted to walk home with three large paper bags of grocery that blocked most of her line of vision, including the crack on the sidewalk.

"Absolutely not."

Kagome glanced over at him, surprised by his declaration. She narrowed her eyes at him. "I wasn't asking for your permission."

"I am very well aware, Kagome, but…" His brain helpfully supplied images of her falling off a ski lift, her falling down the mountain, sprained leg, snowed in, and burning her tongue with hot cocoa. He realized the latter image was the most absurd of all, but he had also never met a creature quite as accident prone as her, so it wasn't exactly too farfetched in his opinion. Not to mention, Inuyasha's previous offhanded comments regarding her many, many kidnappings suddenly dancing around in his mind was far from reassuring.

_Useless, unhelpful half-breed_, he grumbled to himself.

"But…?"

Sesshoumaru refocused his attention on her, trying to unconsciously shoo away the last image of her dangling off a cliff. Seeing her waiting expectantly for a reason, he supplied the first thing his mind offered that didn't involve her ending up on a hospital bed: "I need you here."

She gave him a half-hearted, doubtful smile and walked over to kiss the side of his head. She cooed softly while scratching the back of his ear, "Aww, will you be lonely without me around?"

He suppressed the growl that always arose whenever she used that "puppy voice" around him. He closed his eyes briefly, counting swiftly to ten before he reopened his eyes and strained with his response, "Yes."

She turned away briskly, heading into their closet. "Tough. I am going. End of discussion."

Sesshoumaru frowned. Maybe she would be fine, he tried to rationalize to himself. She survived several ordeals during her time in the Feudal Era when demons and a maniacal half-demon roamed rampant, so a fun ski trip should be fairly safe.

"Sess-Sesshoumaru? I think my hair got snagged on a hanger…"

Or maybe he could just send Jaken to watch over her, he decided as he stood up to head into the closet to free his beloved from her sudden trap.

At that moment, his brain gleefully presented the image of her dangling off a cliff with Jaken gripping tearfully on her swinging leg.

_Dumb, unhelpful brain._

He wondered how Inuyasha was able to deal with her without losing his sanity.

**.**

**five.**

"You are incorrigible," Sesshoumaru sighed aloud as he walked into the bar and found Kagome slumped over the counter with several empty glasses surrounding her. He settled down on the seat next to her, propping an arm up to rest his head. He waved the bartender away, declining to order as he stared at the woman next to him, still passed out and smiling obliviously.

He refrained from wrinkling his nose in distaste even though the stench of alcohol was wafting heavily in the air. Instead, he nudged her gently, waiting for a response. Her head remained still on the counter, but she swatted the empty air almost like she was shooing a fly away.

Sesshoumaru looked on amused.

"Where are your friends?"

Kagome shifted a bit and mumbled into her arms. With his heightened hearing, Sesshoumaru was able to make out the words "chef," "doctor," and "score." He managed to get the gist of her lackluster explanation.

"Why did you drink so much?"

Kagome yawned loudly, cracking one eye opened. She then blinked a few times, waiting for her vision to come into focus, since as muddled as her brain was in that moment, she was almost positive four Sesshoumaru was not a thing. If it was, then she could just see Inuyasha rejecting all matters of life right after disemboweling the perpetrator that caused all of these Sesshoumaru clones. "Sess-Sesshoumaru?"

"Why did you drink so much?" he repeated his question patiently.

She shrugged. "Rough week. I just wanted to let loose."

He frowned, finding it very uncharacteristic of her to drink her trouble away. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

She shrugged again. "It's nothing."

He watched as she wobbly sat up, nearly losing her balance on the stool if it wasn't for his quick save grabbing her arm. He really hated seeing her like this.

"Ready to go home?"

She nodded. Sesshoumaru turned around and let her climbed onto his back. Feeling her wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, Sesshoumaru hooked his arms under her legs, holding her securely to him as they walked out of the bar and headed for home.

Silence followed as Sesshoumaru made the journey home, walking in and out of the light shone from the streetlamps. He assumed Kagome had fallen asleep, hearing only soft breathing and feeling her warm breath on his neck, which was actually a welcome relief to the brisk night air nipping at his skin. When they were close to their apartment building, Sesshoumaru heard Kagome murmuring softly against him.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"For being a nuisance."

"You are not a nuisance."

He heard her laugh quietly and then he stopped, feeling her tighten her hold around him even more. She pressed her lips against his neck.

"Love you."

He smiled to himself, hearing her slowly doze off again.

"Love you too."

**.**

**\+ one.**

Kagome was not the jealous type; she wanted to make that very clear. Albeit, she was just a tiny bit insecure, but not jealous, no, never that! She had no reason to be jealous. She had a wonderful family, the best of friends she could ever ask for, a steady job, and the most amazing lover—

"Would you please put a shirt on?"

Sesshoumaru looked up from the documents he was reading as he paced around the living room. He gave her a perplexed look as she instantly went to close the drapes near their balcony.

"It has never bothered you before."

"Yes, well," Kagome took a peek between the drapes and then shut it altogether. "That dirty old lady across the street apparently just got a new telescope, and I highly doubt she was testing to see how big the sun is."

"44 is not exactly old—"

Kagome shot him a glare that seemed to have only spurred him on instead of silencing his foolish thoughts.

"And considering her rather…well-endowed—"

"_Wafer-thin ice_," she hissed at him, taking another peek outside. She gasped audibly when the woman across the street made an obscene gesture at her. Her cheeks flamed up at the sight. "Why that no good bit—"

She could hear the rustling of papers as Sesshoumaru set his documents down on the coffee table, and then she felt him guiding her away, already nipping gently at her neck.

"Did we not have a lesson about jealousy, my dear?"

"Yes, for _you_. I do not get jealous." Kagome crossed her arms stubbornly, trying to act as self-righteous as she could in spite of the fluttering in her belly as she felt him licking and biting her skin. Goddamned jerk couldn't even let her be annoyed in peace.

"How hypocritical of you," he murmured, letting his hand roamed between her legs.

_Bad dog, bad dog, bad dog!_, her mind raced, realizing where this was heading.

"I am not," she asserted. She pulled away from him, much to his disappointment. She took another peek outside, gasping even louder than before, and inciting curiosity in Sesshoumaru.

"What is it?"

"She brought _friends!_"

"Really now? Are they as 'perky' as—"

"Do. Not. Go. There." Kagome growled. "I swear, if I didn't already know you were just being an asshole about this just to annoy me, I would have thought Miroku's spirit found its way to you."

"Hn, jealousy actually does look attractive on you, Kagome."

"I am not jealous!"

"Rightly so," He murmured, turning her around and lifting her up off the ground. Instinctively, Kagome wrapped her legs around Sesshoumaru's waist for support, gasping at the sudden act. She felt herself pressed up to the cool glass door as the drapes fell over them.

"_They'll see._"

"Yes, and the expressions are priceless."

"Wait—were you walking around shirtless for this very reason? You never walk around shirtless in the middle of the day!"

Sesshoumaru tried to distract her with a roll of his hips, but she was having none of that. After a moment of her glaring at him, showing no sign of going on board with his sudden idea for an afternoon delight, he sighed.

"Jealousy really is an attractive color on you—"

Kagome continued to pierce him with a heated glare.

"Bedroom?" He kissed her neck, letting his warm breath ghost over her skin, making her tremble in his strong arms, and forgetting momentarily the audience across the street who were no doubt both scandalized and turned on by the sudden racy display. Unconsciously, she tightened her hold around his neck, both loving and hating how he always knew what to do to please her. Goddamned bastard.

Kagome weighed the options. Either she could remain angry at him and suddenly sexually frustrated because of his ill-conceived plan, or she could go along with him and be immensely satisfied afterwards. She decided on the latter, since after all she was a sensible, non-jealous woman who had nothing to prove.

"Fine, but don't think you got off that easily!"

Sesshoumaru smirked, clearly having some ideas of how to persuade Kagome otherwise.


	8. Heel

**Author's Note:** I'd just realized I haven't updated this series since like December, which is weird since I have three or four stories lined up for it. And…I also just realized it's been over two years since I'd started this dumb series (Shame on all of you for not stopping my childish humor and letting it get this far!).

This was originally the +1 part of 'Guard Dog,' but I didn't like it being a part of that story. I still liked it enough to not scrap it, so it gets to stand on its own!

(And for non-native English speakers: "heel" can have multiple meanings, one being used to describe someone as a scoundrel. The other is a dog command, because this is me, and I like making bad jokes, as if this entire ludicrous series is not an indication of that already)

* * *

**Heel**  
_by Tsuki no Tennyo_

So Sesshoumaru was good-looking, Kagome agreed now that they had trudged past the sword-obsessed, ruthless killer half-brother of her previous love interest territory that was their prior relationship status.

Now that she felt that fact was fairly acknowledged, she felt completely centered, one with the whole fucking world. Nothing could break her state of zen or bring her down. Absolutely nothing at all—

"_Those arms!_"

She immediately frowned when her delicate human ears were rudely assaulted with varying pitched squeals.

"God, Kagome, you are so lucky to have snagged a guy like that!" the office intern piped up amid all of the squeals.

_Honestly, he's not that great to look at_, Kagome thought irritably to herself as she stared at her female co-workers crowding around the window to moon over Sesshoumaru like a bunch of hormonal teenaged girls.

"What I would do to that body!"

_Office slut_, Kagome continued to grumble in her mind. She turned away from the scene, intending on finishing her day's work. She sat down at her desk, her pen rapidly tapping against her cheek as she found her eyes unable to tear themselves away from the debacle by the window. She reached for her phone and instantly sent Sesshoumaru a text:

_**Go away!**_

She slammed her head on her table. Within moments, she felt short repeated vibrations on her desktop indicating his response. She tilted her head a bit and took a glance at the reply.

_**Why?**_

Kagome groaned again to herself. She wondered if he was truly ignorant or if he was just pretending and hiding the fact that he enjoyed how this was irritating her. She frowned again, certain that he was not the type of guy to bask in this type of shower of adoration and lust. _But_ she _was_ positive that he was the type of asshole to screw around with her for his own twisted amusement.

_What a heel, acting like he doesn't know._

_**Don't act like you don't know!**_, she sent the message to him angrily, her fingers looked like they were about ready to fly off her hands with how fast and hard she was pressing the keypad.

_**I do not.**_

_**Those bimbos catcalling you right at this moment!**_

_**That is not a courteous way of referring to your co-workers.**_

She wished she could see his face at that moment. It took all of her willpower to restrain herself from shoving aside her co-workers just so she could see that undoubtedly smug, amused smirk on his face right now on the street. She also restrained from grabbing a vase and chucking it at his head. In that moment, she felt quite proud of how much self-restraint she was exhibiting in spite of her increasingly maddening work environment.

_**Since when do you care about being courteous?**_

There was a 3-minute wait period that caused Kagome to wonder whether he did leave, but after a moment she felt the familiar vibration from her phone.

_**Fair point.**_

Kagome licked her lips as she pondered over her next message. She ignored the cacophony of screeches and squeals in the background, somewhat baffled that whatever he was doing could elicit such a manic reaction. She surmised that he simply inhaled and caused three of her co-workers to nearly go into cardiac arrest while the rest were suddenly overcome with lightheadedness and weak knees.

Honestly, he _really_ wasn't that interesting—sword fetish and daddy issues aside—but Kagome realized her opinion would probably get her burned at the stake for such blasphemy.

_**You need to stop picking me up from work, especially since you always arrive 20 mins. early!**_

_**I would think as a female you would appreciate this romantic gesture.**_

Kagome stared at the response, unsure whether she should be offended that he referred to her as a female or that he thought this was romantic. Honestly, she kind of missed the simpler time when all he did was ignore everything that did not have to do with Tessaiga. Now he seemed to fill his free time with annoying her instead of chasing Inuyasha across Japan for a dumb sword or some other skewed male ego thing.

_**You are emotionally constipated. Can't you even do that correctly?**_

Kagome stared at the phone, waiting and waiting and waiting. She grew a tiny bit nervous when it seemed like he wasn't going to respond to her latest text.

She then heard a different squeal: "He's coming up!" which was then followed by all of the women rushing to fix their hair and makeup and appearing nonchalant at their work stations, and causing her to pale instantly. Maybe she had stepped over a line. What that line was she had yet to figure out. The line of how much of an asshole they could be to one another? In that instant, she wondered if that was ground enough for couple therapy.

She tried to ease her mind with that slightly amusing image of Sesshoumaru sitting in therapy telling the therapist about all of his woes stemming from bad parenting or whatever other excuses he had for his terrible personality. Sure, she had seen him do other mundane human activities, such as brewing coffee, doing taxes, and wine tasting, but therapy was right up there alongside jazzercise as activities she could not see Sesshoumaru ever being on board with no matter how much topless persuading she might have to do.

"Let's go."

Kagome jumped in her seat, startled when she heard his cold, smooth voice cutting through her wayward train of thought that seemed like it was just about to hurtle itself off of a cliff into a fiery explosion. She looked up slowly and sheepishly, hoping to wipe off his annoyed scowl by reminding him how he happened to like her better than most humans, well, better than most creatures, demons included.

"I can't," Kagome fibbed, realizing he had a look similar to that one time he gouged Inuyasha's eye out for the black pearl to their father's tomb, "I still have to go through these paperwork for the client tomorrow."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Kagome, I can handle that. You go have fun with your sweet boyfriend," the office intern unhelpfully said and obliviously guiding Kagome into an earlier grave.

Kagome shot her an immediate glare, though given how half of the office was too busy ogling at Sesshoumaru no one noticed her damped mood. Sesshoumaru continued to pierce her with a look she was certain she had seen before directed at Inuyasha, Jaken, and Naraku, which obviously was not the kind of company she wanted to be grouped with. She begrudgingly reached for her purse and tote bag, quickly shuffling in various documents, books, and the office stapler by mistake.

"Gee, thanks," Kagome mumbled to her co-worker, standing up and adjusting all of her bags on her shoulder. She blinked in surprise when Sesshoumaru took the heavier tote bag from her, earning an earful of squeals about chivalry in the process. Kagome was too wary at this point to even be annoyed by the skyrocketed hormone level in the office.

Absently, she grabbed her phone off her desk and was immediately dragged out of the office by Sesshoumaru and leaving behind all of the swoons and sighs at her workplace. They walked down to the lobby in silence, and just as they made it out onto the streets, she heard him sighed.

"I hope to god you plan on switching job soon."

Kagome blinked, not expecting that comment from him. She treaded carefully with her next thought. "You aren't mad?"

"By what?"

Kagome wondered if she was in any way shooting herself in the foot, but she continued anyway. "By the last text I sent?"

"About me picking you up early? I am annoyed that you are not as appreciative, yes, but not angry."

"That was the last text you read?"

"Did you send another? My phone died after I responded to you."

Kagome grinned cheekily, realizing she had somehow dodged his wrath. "Oh, it was nothing. Let's go home."

Sesshoumaru gave her an unconvinced look. His brows furrowed together slightly as he felt Kagome took the lead in pulling him in the direction to their apartment. "I feel like you are hiding something."

"Well, aren't you keen?" Kagome waved it aside. "It was nothing."

"Hmm."

Kagome faltered a bit, realizing he tended to have a one-track mind when it came to something that interested him. Tessaiga was always a foremost example, she thought wryly to herself. She pulled at his wrist harder, ignoring his continuous wary look, as she wondered silently how much topless persuading would get him to drop the matter.

She breathed in deeply.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes?"

She stopped walking, and turned around and undid the first two buttons on her blouse, catching his immediate attention when he caught sight of her cleavage. He gave her a slight quizzical look, but he seemed to have forgotten about his earlier suspicion as his attention now seemed entirely focused on her chest.

She resumed dragging him home, sighing to herself.

_What a heel_, she thought to herself, realizing the hetero male tendencies transcended across all species. On the bright side, though, she realized this was an excellent leverage for her to have for the next time she got in trouble or in need of a quick bribe.


End file.
